I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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