spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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