so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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