my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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