bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
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Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
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I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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