Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
