there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
