who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
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If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
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I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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