Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
