I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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