Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
