So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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