Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
