He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
