So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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