Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
