watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Congratulations! We have a period
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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