Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
