so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
