anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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