he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
