Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
