So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
