I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
