So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
