im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize