I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
