I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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