Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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