no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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