I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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