she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
