she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize