I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
accomplished twins. life is a go
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize
