so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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