So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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