She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
