is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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