If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
