he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
