areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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