1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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