I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
North Korea, Best Korea!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
