you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
