Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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