kristin has been a bad kristin
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
