Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.

  (1-586): View more from Michigan

  What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?

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  (586): Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand. (1-586): What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive? http://tfl.nu/qfk1
  Replies (3) Good night (1028) Bad night (1055)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!

  (1-903): View more from Texas

  What does that even mean?

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  (903): I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude! (1-903): What does that even mean? http://tfl.nu/qhna
  Replies (30) Good night (1301) Bad night (5196)
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  (805): View more from California

  An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.

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  (805): An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice. http://tfl.nu/s7hm
  Replies (19) Good night (4641) Bad night (987)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I'M GETTING MARRIED!

  (512): View more from Texas

  YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!

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  (254): I'M GETTING MARRIED! (512): YOU'RE STILL MARRIED! http://tfl.nu/48vu
  Replies (38) Good night (4557) Bad night (2395)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl

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  (+44): it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl http://tfl.nu/hhri
  Replies (16) Good night (1238) Bad night (4358)
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  (714): View more from California

  he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick

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  (714): he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick http://tfl.nu/v3uh
  Replies (14) Good night (4736) Bad night (990)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'

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  (217): I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem' http://tfl.nu/0jvg
  Replies (22) Good night (1928) Bad night (3437)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake

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  (270): no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake http://tfl.nu/nyba
  Replies (5) Good night (2460) Bad night (815)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.

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  (706): I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery. http://tfl.nu/adx0
  Replies (7) Good night (1717) Bad night (622)
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  (831): View more from California

  i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something

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  (831): i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something http://tfl.nu/b053
  Replies (10) Good night (1678) Bad night (743)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...

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  (401): Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him... http://tfl.nu/2jr7
  Replies (10) Good night (2206) Bad night (703)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.

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  (443): My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love. http://tfl.nu/12sb
  Replies (8) Good night (3649) Bad night (653)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.

  (1-443): View more from Maryland

  That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.

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  (443): Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please. (1-443): That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude. http://tfl.nu/3mvf
  Replies (18) Good night (1121) Bad night (2764)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad

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  (914): I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad http://tfl.nu/el2g
  Replies (3) Good night (605) Bad night (282)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!

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  (513): You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up! http://tfl.nu/45jw
  Replies (3) Good night (680) Bad night (438)

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