I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT