Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey

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  (416): I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey http://tfl.nu/3mx1
  Replies (14) Good night (1289) Bad night (563)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.

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  (207): I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid. http://tfl.nu/67sh
  Replies (15) Good night (6765) Bad night (678)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?

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  (720): have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing? http://tfl.nu/o8yl
  Replies (51) Good night (4534) Bad night (1031)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.

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  (509): I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120. http://tfl.nu/oklb
  Replies (19) Good night (1178) Bad night (4979)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...

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  (563): i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes... http://tfl.nu/mlmh
  Replies (28) Good night (5209) Bad night (928)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.

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  (912): She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious. http://tfl.nu/k9y8
  Replies (15) Good night (1018) Bad night (4286)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.

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  (419): her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier. http://tfl.nu/ogdc
  Replies (88) Good night (7388) Bad night (1350)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."

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  (215): My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.." http://tfl.nu/yyzh
  Replies (124) Good night (41306) Bad night (2832)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.

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  (231): You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me. http://tfl.nu/n997
  Replies (15) Good night (4684) Bad night (1075)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...

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  (217): I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony... http://tfl.nu/w96r
  Replies (14) Good night (3304) Bad night (1555)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight

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  (610): 3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight http://tfl.nu/lsa5
  Replies (3) Good night (2409) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.

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  (904): Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light. http://tfl.nu/d5q4
  Replies (20) Good night (1217) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.

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  (919): I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline. http://tfl.nu/f3bf
  Replies (14) Good night (2708) Bad night (498)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?

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  (479): The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in? http://tfl.nu/vsmz
  Replies (1) Good night (1306) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...

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  (+44): This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again... http://tfl.nu/3c0f
  Replies (2) Good night (687) Bad night (414)

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