Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude