Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(631): View more from New York

Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?

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(516): View more from New York

I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.

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(817): View more from Texas

Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!

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(406): View more from Montana

Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?

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