You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
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whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
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I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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