then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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