He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
