I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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