Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
We're like a lot better than the average bears
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
he high fived his dick after we had sex
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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