If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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