My Higher Power is John Stamos
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
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i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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