suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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