I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
