btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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