did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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