I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
