ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
