That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
