Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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