Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
