it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
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Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
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Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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